Q: Well hmph, what makes you so special?
A: The fact that everything belongs to me, for one.

Q: How can things that other people own belong to you?
A: Most people think that they actually own stuff. They are deluded.  "Owning stuff" is just a state of mind. 

Q: Then how can you pretend it all belongs to you?
A: After my realization that property is just an abstract concept, I flirted with the idea that I didn't own anything. That notion didn't last long once I realized that it too is a delusion, so I might as well own everything. Now all of the universe's stuff belongs to me.  And I'm not pretending.

Q: You're nuts. How does it feel, knowing you own everything?
A: It's a great feeling. It's probably the same feeling you would get if you played the lottery and won millions of my dollars.

Q: You own all the money in the world, too?
A: Yup. Anything that is material is mine.

Q: So how do you justify other people using your cars, TVs, computers, etc.?
A: It's OK. I have plenty (everything, really) to go around, so I don't mind that other people use it. It's actually better this way, because other people take care of my things. I'd hate to have the job of repairing, cleaning, and troubleshooting all of my, say, automobiles, for instance. Luckily other people do that for me.

Q: It doesn't make you angry that some jerk is driving around in your Lamborghini right now, thinking it's his?
A: You mean one of my many Lamborghinis. No, I don't mind that, or the fact that many people live in my numerous beautiful mansions or take long vacations on my lovely resort islands. I'm quite willing to let people delude themselves; I mean, after all, I've got lots of stuff.

Q: Yeah, but you're not using much of it...
A: I'm using enough for me. And that wasn't a question, was it?

Q: OK, but what about when you have to buy things? Why don't you just take things out of stores if they belong to you already?
A: Because I'll get arrested for shoplifting my stuff, that's why. I don't mind exchanging my money for my stuff; it's kind of humorous, really. And ever since I realized that everything belongs to me, I find it less necessary to purchase things. I'll often find myself looking into a shop window at one of my items, saying, "wow, I didn't know I had one of those." Usually there's no need to bring it home after that. After all, I own the store, too.

Q: Hmm, is there anything you don't own?
A: Yes; I don't own people. They own themselves. In fact, I don't own anything that is living. But once you're dead, you're mine.

Q: How come you drive a shitty car when you own so many nice cars?
A: You sure are obsessed with my cars, aren't you? I get plenty of rides in my nice cars, and I'm often chauffeured, as well. Your question is a somewhat watered down version of the following question:

Q: Why don't you live in an exotic mansion on a tropical planet orbiting a distant star?
A: Because, even with all that I own, it is difficult to actually get most of it within my grasp.  I am not a megalomaniac; I have no delusions of grandeur.  I am a human, living on one of my zillions of planets, unable at this point in my life to leave aboard my (as yet unbuilt) starship. I have enough trouble getting around in one of my millions of shitty cars.

Q: Since you have so much stuff anyway, can you give some of it to me?
A: No. Sorry, but you can use some of it. It is impossible for me to transfer any of my vast property to someone else. One of the properties of all matter is that it is my property. Get it? If I try to give something to you, it only gets transferred into a location near you, and nothing I can do will make it yours. Everything belongs to me.

Q: This is kinda interesting. How about if I decide that I own everything? Will that get in your way?
A: Hey, go for it. Knock yourself out. It would hardly make a dent in the clod of billions of delusions that the whole human population of this planet has about my stuff. Won't change anything though. No matter what anyone thinks, it's all mine.