Welcome to my nanofiction page. Inspired by Andy's efforts, I began attempting to pump these out on a weekly basis also. This page is where I'm collecting them all. And, because I think about these things, I have another page of criticisms for each of the stories, for which I welcome reader contributions in the spirit of artistic debate. Anyhow, I recommend reading each one without looking at its neighbors, leaving some time between stories to let each work its maximal tiny effect.

A Common Misguided Kindness

date: 7-29-99

My friend John blew out a tire one summer day while driving through the south. After the new tire was mounted, the owner of the garage came over with a hose. "Let me help you with that" he offered generously, and before John could stop him, washed away all its new blue specialness.

The Big Play

date: 8-5-99

Josh was Right Fielder the day they hit that long fly ball. This was his big chance, his chance to impress his disappointed father and his whole team. Josh lept. The ball arced down. Josh caught the ladder and pulled himself onto the boxcar as the ball fell into the empty field.

Biff and Baff's great adventure

date: 8-12-99

Biff and Baff slipped out of their basket one night at the Doll's House Museum. They scampered about sheet metal streetscapes, antebellum rowhouses with working candles, and rode the elevators of a mexican villa. Suddenly the museum opened. They froze, hoping nobody'd notice. "Look Daddy," the little girl said, "The mouse puppets are only $5."

Fulfilled as a bird's nest

date: 8-19-99

"Nice hat."

"I hate this hat. I only wear it when I'm committing crimes. I wore this hat when I stole this convertible. Hey! The damn wind blew it off!"

And the hat was free. It hoped it would find a better home, as the buffetting winds pushed it ever higher across the city.

"It's Not You, It's Me."

date: 8-26-99

"But... But.... I thought you loved me!"

"I'm not in love with you."

"But... everything we did..."

"We can always be friends, John. I'll call you. Goodbye."


"Very good, Agent 347. Headquarters will be pleased."

"Go away, Chief."

"Now now, 347, you knew the rules. Chin up, I have your next assignment..."

Back To The Future

date: 9-2-99

Our flashlight beams played over dusty dark video games. We gasped. Someone engaged the ancient circuit breakers and it all came to life! Quarters flowed, trackballs were rolled, sixty-four pixel characters battled, Zaxxon negotiated a 3-D maze. We laughed and played the ping-pong and pool tables, while Sting sang "When the world is running do-own..."

"I'm Sorry, Sir, Your Card's Been Rejected."

date: 9-9-99

"What? Run it again!"

In the attendant's booth, Kevin excitedly re-swiped it. The government was probably closing in now. He would jump into the stranger's car and help him escape to the warehouse with the old computers. There were also probably crates of weapons there, so they'd be ready for...

"ACCEPTED 009572" blinked the Card-o-Matic.

The Wonder, Humor, and Beauty

date: 9-16-99

I sat by the cornfield. Insects buzzed among the stalks, blue tailed salamanders played by the path, the Wind riffled patterns. I began counting low-flying planes and left knowing I'd failed. No human mind can comprehend the beauty of even such a simple place. But I'm pretty sure that there exists One who does.

Tool Riot

date: 9-23-99

The saw's a comedian, the wrenches wrestle, drill bits pine for their drill. The screwdrivers try to exclude the torx tool from their club, Tapemeasure romances the box knife. Metal cutters try to escape, the soldering iron heats up, Dremel grinds everything in sight, the torch cuts through the box and burns my house down.

Three Wishes

date: 9-30-99

Frank woke to find all the litter he'd ever thrown laying on his bed. Someone had been granted three wishes. He read newspaper accounts of people trapped in their houses and the sudden deaths of the world's leaders. To his surprise, Frank was elected president. He ruled carefully; some said there was still one wish.

New York City, Dec 31, 1999 11:58PM

date: 10-7-99

In the alley Max cornered the tourist.

"Don't you recognize me?"

"yeah, whatever, just gimme the blood."

Max jammed him against the wall and sunk his fangs into the man's throat. But this time the blood burned acid bright! He felt his body sloughing off his soul, and rising, he noticed his wings were white.

The Great Escape

date: 10-14-99

Through the walls of the dungeon, the legend of the only prisoner to ever escape spread hope like fire. #53 devised a knife, #62 weakened his chains with stomach acid, the rest stood ready for the planned moment...

It was as they tore apart the body of their hated guard that they discovered his tatoo: #12.

First Contact

date: 10-21-99

His tiny ship sat behind him in the bay of the giant craft; two aliens greeted him in English. "At last we meet! Your planet's culture is imitated throughout the galaxy! Resturaunts! Who imagined eating being social? Dancing! We'd never tried it. Comedy!" "Really?" he asked, "What about war?" Their antennae popped straight out in fright. "We surrender!"

Raising The Dead

date: 10-28-99

We trimmed back the trees, painted the shutters, cut the overgrown grass, painted the fence. Long overdue progress for a house long neglected.

On that chilly autumn night the neighborhood kids stood on the sidewalk outside our house.

"You go in"

"No you go in"

"I'm not going there. It's too spooky!"

Venus Attacks

date: 11-04-99

"Martians! You stand no chance against our superior numbers! Surrender now! "

" Uh, commander, this isn't Mars, it's Earth."

" Earth? Earth with nuclear weapons Earth?"


"Friends! We come in peace...."

The Willowsdale Toast Society Meets Again

date: 11-11-99

The plant was building planes now, so we all did our part. John was in tail group, Keith and Richard on the gear, Andrew on radios. Professor Looney researched fuel mixtures. Even Kristin and Alison were wing riviters. Evenings we'd go down to Gina's Diner where we'd place our order and talk about the future.

WYSIWYG saves the world

date: 11-18-99

"The new weapon's ready but we'll never be able to train enough people to operate it before we're overrun!"

"R&D thinks we may have a solution. Observe this user interface."

"'s Solitaire!"

"Yes General. We can have thousands of units ready.. General?"

"Ah... proceed, Major. I'm just going to play... one... more... hand...."

Pimple Poppin'

date: 11-25-88

She walked along her own skin, approaching the swelling blemish. She surveyed it and found the location of the original pore, and using the pickaxe hacked away the blockage. Then she stood back while her own giant fingers bent down and applied pressure. The Devil just shook his head, and left with the kid's soul.

The Milk Ring That Got Him A Divorce

date: 12-2-99

As he peeled the ring off the milk, his world began to slow down. She hadn't given him a lot of clues why she left, except to implicate his carelessness with these rings as proof of his unsuitablilty. Such a little thing. He turned as always to throw it away, and returned to the present.

What Could They Be Selling In December?

date: 12-9-99

As I approached the ice cream truck, the kids all scattered. "What can I get you sir?" the tie-died fellow inside asked smoothly. I couldn't see his eyes under his dark glasses.

"What are you selling here?"

"We carry a full assortment of Good Mother ice cream."

He gave me a popsicle but I'm still not convinced.

Christmas on 13th Street

date: 12-16-99

In light displays, I look for something really special. This house had animated elves, their arms making ineffectual chopping motions. Then I recognized one. It was Timmy, a neighborhood kid! Lights wound around my legs. They had my arms! Incandescent bulbs replaced my eyes; I waved my present at passers-by but it did no good

Christmas 2005

date: 12-23-99

Lain squatted by the fire in the center of the Safe Circle. He'd made it in on the basis of today's catch, enough to feed several. The squirrel population was basically gone now, so everyone had to make do with smaller and harder-to-catch rodents. Someone started singing: "Chipmunks roasting on an open fire..."

The Last Session Of Congress

date: 12-30-99

"All Present vote on admitting Puerto Rico to the Union..."


"The vote is Yea, 87 to 13. Now, in order to avoid any alterations to the Flag, which would be as you know unconstitutional, the next vote is to combine Rhode Island and Deleware..."


"96 to 4! Ok losers, pick a new name!..."


date: 1-6-00

They were doing it wet-n-messy on her parents' living room carpet when the lights flew on and they burst in. Her boyfriend somehow melted away, but she'd gotten what she wanted from him. She rose higher and higher on the waves of shouting, tears, and threats until she thought she'd burst from her glorious newfound power.

As he was leaving the dessert table...

date: 01-13-00

a horrible pain clamped down on his chest.He felt his heart seize. He did not fall, but towered on his thick legs. "Move!" he thundered internally. "PUMP YOU MOTHERFUCKER, OR I'LL STAB YOU WITH THE FORK!" His defeated heart let go, then began to pump. He went to his chair and cleaned off his plate.

Super Hero

date: 01-20-00

The defendant wore a multicolored 'Q' and a cape. "This lunatic jumped into my SUV and force-fed me some pill!"

"What were you doing?"

"I was stuck in traffic! It wasn't moving, no matter how much I honked! HEY, I'M IMPORTANT!"

The judge looked over to Quaalude Man, who nodded, and sprang into action again.

The Perfect Match

date: 01-27-00

You know that if you could get her into bed, she'd be incredible. Her shapely legs would wind around your back like vines, and her head would tilt to one side so that her lips would stay lovingly, hungrily pressed to yours all night. But first you'll have to get her to notice you.

Specter of Evil

date: 02-03-00

He entered her house, somehow stepping over the slippery soap. Although the trapdoor over the acid pit sprung open, he didn't fall. Her 1,000 tiny warriors shot their arrows with all their might but he didn't feel them. He was in her room. He smiled. He was the good daddy today, but still she trembled.

The Battle On The Mountain

date: 02-10-00

The two knights lay bleeding, having just hacked each other to pieces. White snow fell, covering their broken bodies. They each thought proudly of their fight, then of their loved ones who would never find them, and all the things they'd given up for the honor of dying there. Then, like candles, they were extinguished.

The Long Wait

date: 02-17-00

"Wow, look at this cool place," I thought, just before the huge wolf-hound attacked me. His slathering fangs were in my face; I went limp on the ground and trembled. He seemed satisfied. His master chained me and he marked a circle about where I lay. Totally stuck, I settled down hoping for rescue.


date: 02-24-00

Louann was a hopeless failure. She washed away the useless hours day and night in a dark roadside bar, going home to change clothes only occasionally. One day the regular barmaid failed to show, so the owner had Lou serve herself. She began to work there regularly. Ten years later she's still there, a success.

The Becoming Of Eric

date: 03-02-00

The kid didn't think he could write. On a dare, he began doing weekly stories. After a while, he felt it getting easier. He found himself swimming to the surface. Eventually, he burst through the scab, and his monstorous works were set free on the world, to terrorize and devour souls. Well, they deserved it.

The Working Life

date: 03-09-00

I worked in a glittering castle, selling clean white clouds from a pushcart in a spacious square. But to get to work I had to drive through choking smoke and come in the servant's entrance. Eventually I quit and took a better job, crawling in the dirt and helping the yellow flowers grow.

Radiation: Divine Creator

date: 03-16-00

As the flames rose, the heretic screamed: "The world wasn't always this way! Giant monsters once roamed the Earth! You can't suppress the truth forever! They walked upright and built great weapons! They created the radiation! We were once iiinnsseeeeeccts!"

After he died, they destroyed the "fossils" he claimed to have "dug up".

Silver Lining

date: 03-23-00

Fearing alien invasion, Congress ordered him to secretly design an impervious barrier for the whole planet. He succeeded. It was his proudest moment when they flipped the switch and the sky turned silver. But he, like everyone else, was shocked when nuclear explosions rocked the planet. Nobody had thought to tell the Russians.


date: 03-30-00

Since before their kind had learned to speak, they'd had this dream. They built cities but knew one day they'd leave the Earth behind. Overcoming the horror of learning their origin as cockroaches, they built a spaceship, and discovered a galactic society. They prepared to join,... and were crushed by gigantic alien limbs. "Ick! Bugs!"

April 22

date: 04-06-00

The sun rose over our folly, lighting it up for all to see. This time we noticed, and were shamed. Some structures were left standing to return gracefully to nature, others were demolished. After a generation the population was brought under control, and there was enough for everybody. Nature and Humanity rejoined.

Traffic Jam

date: 04-13-00

He finally snapped, pulling onto the shoulder and roaring past all the stopped drivers, laughing at their bovine passivity. After a while he didn't notice their slumped positions. Further on, he didn't notice the empty seats and broken glass. He only noticed his melting skin when he rounded the curve and saw the shattered skyscrapers.

Conflict in the city

date: 04-20-00
There was some kind of shootout going on in the street. He looked out the window. Unfortunately, at that moment a stray bullet burst through, exiting his head in an explosion of red vapor. "All right!" thought the cat, who had been trying to get his head to explode for years.

Swift Justice

date: 04_27_00

Usually when a mosquito gets into my house, I get bitten at night. Last night though, I was eaten alive. When I woke up, it was there by the alarm clock. It seemed to be looking at me. Vengefully I squashed it. It wasn't until later I realized that the bites spelled a word: "Help."

The Ultimate Tag


He stood in the darkened museum, spray can in hand, shaking it. Taking a breath, he stepped into the alarm beam guarding the Mona Lisa and quickly painted his name across her face, then off the canvas onto the wall. Chased by guards, he escaped to his studio; art critics called it "a deconstructionist masterpiece."

In a distant galaxy...

date: 05-11-00

Between battles, Corran hung out in the X-wing hangar reading a new holo-novel. It was a dramatic story of a devolved planet in some future distant galaxy, where primitive nations raced to their moon in giant chemical rockets. It ended in victory; standing beside his rickety landing craft, the hero stared back at his home.

I know you're not there anymore

date: 05-18-00

Drove through that town again, that town that I know so well. I don't stop and pick you up. The houses looked a little different then. They were at our level and we walked through them. Every sunbeam and swingset still call me; they were yours and mine, and your soft hand was mine too.

The Joy Of Youth

date: 05-25-00

Summer's pressures overloaded her that night. She had to take some action. She jumped out into the street. The car's headlights painted her and she shut her eyes. For just a second, it was all only a ride. Then the car swerved. Spared. It would be a while before she had such freedom again.

One POW's story

date: 06-01-00

Unlike the other prisoners, he saw the move to the mines as an opportunity. The work would make him stronger. The thin prison gruel was a slap of cold reality. He needed protein to eat, dammit. He came out of the camp a strong man. Nobody ever figured out what happened to the missing guards.

Best to Clean House on the First

By John Seylar

date: 06-08-00

Take control, Asil decided. Her shoe smashed the spider sleeping on the floor. She felt so in-control, she yelled "You're all going to spider heaven today!"

Peter's boss proclaimed, "Better get the gate area. clean before the month-end inspection, you procrastinating punk!" Peter grabbed a shoe and started sending bugs back to Earth.

You walk, I drive

date: 06-15-00

You walk, I drive. You're down, I'm up. I'm going five places at once, you're just trying to get home. You're thinking about your parents, or your little high-school girlfriend, or your homework. I left all that behind. I hate you. I swerve to mow you down. My windshield wipers scrape your blood away.

Mister Know-It-All

date: 06-22-00

He had lots of advice for his newborn son. But his baby already knew how to eat and sleep, was too curious to listen as a child, rebellious as a teen, and busy as an adult. So finally, he just started speaking, telling everything he knew. His voice echoed in the empty nursing home room.


date: 06-28-01

She swam through the frigid water towards the submarine, with its gaping hole and spreading radiation. They'd chosen her for the suicide mission to disarm the sub's missles. The surface stood at the brink of war, and humanitiy's fate rested with her. Too bad. Using the tools and her bottle-shaped nose she launched the nukes.

Last Chance


By mistake, he retained the memories of his previous life as a bacterium. Seeking a way to use this knowledge to benefit humanity, he became a scientist, and used his secret memories to "discover" several cures for diseases. He had to; he'd been a very bad bacterium.

Ice Balls


I am a ball of ice, in a crowd of other balls of ice, averting our gazes from each other. Once I experienced warmth. I became excited, heating up. I thought I might awaken others around me, but as I turned to steam I buffeted ineffectually against my neighbors, merely dampening their hard skin.

The Start of the Time Travel Contest Series

Don't Forget Your Past

date: 06_21_01

"He's back, sir," intoned the butler.

"What, again?" I shouted at the uninvited visitor. "You want more money already?"


"What am I, a charity? Here's an idea. GET A JOB!" I mashed a button on the remote and sent my former self back to his time. That's when I arrived in this trailer park.

I Joined The Corps For The Glamor...


...but I ain't seen it yet. Mostly I clean up after the star agents, sloppy bastards. No matter how hard I work, it's always "Johnson! Look what you let slip through!" Sure, thousands die early in Japan to prevent the Great Burn, but I'm getting canned for one missed newspaper issue: "Dewy Defeats Truman!"



It had been a one- way trip. He would be remembered as a murderer. He shouldered the rifle but it vanished in a flash of light. He turned to a familiar face. "Why? I'm saving lives!" "No. Without his example the misery repeats unchecked." It's true. Hitler's empire failed but its memory lasts a thousand years.



Bob adjusted his tinfoil hat. He lay behind a hill as the motorcade approached. "Now!" the voices hissed. He rose and aimed his weapon, but bullets hit him from behind. The President looked up as bodyguards fanned out. Bob lay scared. He'd failed. "No," said the voices, "You did just right." Their light enveloped him.

For God and Queen


Harnessing the great power of electricity, the Potential stored in these Lyden Jars so disturbs the Etheric Fluid that the Electro-motive Tractor may gain purchase and move across time! Of course it doesn't work. Had I known the Ether would dissipate within 100 years I would not have chosen the future for my first trip.

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