Problem Child

By Amy Chused and Charles Dickson

Page 12


  ********
  
  Lite runs pell mell down a corridor with a double fistful of 
  papers, eventually stopping in a short section off of the main 
  hallway which curves around so that it is partially hidden.
  
  Lite: (pant! pant!) Ha ha ha! They can't hold Bloocheez the 
  Second, future destroyer of the entire Federation Empire! And 
  now I've got their secret papers! I just have to get them back 
  to the Hidden Valley Ranch and I'll be a hero. (Stops to get his 
  breath, and looks at the sheets) What's this? MUSIC? Those 
  wimps! Aagh!
  
  He jumps around waving his fists for a minute, then stops and 
  drops down to one knee and pulls a match from his boot.
  
  Lite: I better destroy these anyhow. It might be some kind of 
  code. (Strikes the match on the wall and touches it to the 
  paper. Unfortunately, the fire extinguisher ports from the 
  ceiling jump to life, and a powerful stream of pseudo-water is 
  directed at the flame, soaking Lite as well. A thoroughly 
  miserable wet lump, Lite nonetheless huddles over the soggy 
  papers, industriously ripping them into little pieces. Suddenly, 
  the door to at the end of the corridor opens and Lite jumps up 
  and runs back into the hall, leaving the pile of scraps behind.)
  
  From the edge of the door, which slid open only a tiny way, a 
  little nose pokes out timidly. After a couple of sniffs, the 
  whole head comes through, revealing the Ship's Gerbil, who looks 
  around fearfully, then spies the mass of shredded paper on the 
  floor. The pseudo-water is already beginning to dry from the 
  carpet and walls.
  
  Kendragon: What? What's this? (stoops to pick the paper up) 
  Why, how could they do this? And right by my door, too! 
  
  She rushes out into the corridor. Guillaume and Stoops are just 
  coming up.
  
  Kendragon: What is the meaning of this?!! 
  
  Guillaume: Oh no, the music!
  
  Stoops: (To Guillaume) Gee, I hope you're going to recycle that.
  
  Guillaume glares at Stoops. (to Kendragon) What do you mean?
  
  Kendragon: You could have at least asked me first if you wanted 
  some paper shredded! It's my prerogative as Ship's Gerbil! Why 
  I even issued a memo on proper disposal of paper...wait a minute, 
  I ripped that up accidentally before I could scan it...But did 
  you do this?
  
  Guillaume: No, it must have been the HVR child. You can just 
  see his tracks going off that way.
  
  Stoops: Let's get him! Quickly, the tracks are fading!
  
  *************
  
  Scene: Corridor. Lite is running down the hall, rapidly putting 
  distance between himself and the people chasing him. Suddenly he 
  rounds a corner and sees a tall stately and terrifying-looking 
  woman in a white gown with long black hair with a white streak in 
  it. Lite tries to stop, but unfortunately skids right into her. 
  She graciously grabs him without even dropping her staff and 
  smiles.
  
  Polgara: Hello Lite.
  
  Lite: Who are you?
  
  Polgara: I am Polgara, the ship's sorceress. Tell me, Lite, are 
  you a good boy or a bad boy?
  
  Lite: Why,  I'm the biggest, baddest hombre this side of 
  the Hidden Valley Ranch! Uh, ...why did you ask?
  
  Polgara: Oh dear, Lite! That was a bad answer.  You see, if you 
  are a good boy, I'll magic up some sweets. And if you are a bad 
  boy, I'll turn you into a newt. And if you lie, I'll turn you 
  into a newt with chicken pox.
  
  Lite: I ... uh ... I I'm a good boy. Yeah!
  
  Lite hurriedly rips himself free of the sorceress and goes 
  running down the corridor even faster than he came.
  
  ********
     

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