Problem Child

By Amy Chused and Charles Dickson

Page 2

  Scene -- a Ensigns' bedroom with Ensigns Redshirt and 
  CrimsonTunic sitting on the beds.
  Commander Scribonia: (on com) Jiapa, yaz, Speaker for the Dead 
  and Ananda, and Ensign Redshirt, report to the transporter room.
  Redshirt: Shit! That call was for me. Now I get to go out and 
  bleed all over again. Every single episode, it's the same thing. 
  It's really a shame they got that transporter memory thing 
  working. I'm getting tired of being converted into a plant or 
  something and then being brought back just the way I was.
  CrimsonTunic: Lucky me.  I don't have to go this time. I 
  guess they only needed one victim.
  Redshirt: Aw, blow it out your ass. They'll get you next.
  Commander Scribonia (from communicator) Also Ensign CrimsonTunic, 
  report to the transporter room as well.
  Redshirt: Bwah-ha-ha. You're gonna get toasted too. I bet you 
  bite it first.
  CrimsonTunic: I'll bet you a drink in Ten Forward you get toasted 
  Redshirt: You're on. Let's go.

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