Problem Child

By Amy Chused and Charles Dickson

Page 14

  Scene: Corridor
  The Child-like Wonder and the Insecurity Officer are juggling 
  together as they walk down the hall.
  Child-Like Wonder: Ok, pal, are you ready for the 7th ball? A 
  full rainbow of colors looks awfully neat.
  Insecurity Officer: Sure, I can handle a 7th no problem. 
  Juggling is easy.
  Their hands continue to move, and the 7 colored balls fly across 
  the hall as the two of them side-step down the hall.
  Insecurity Officer: What'd be neat is to use various bits of 
  fruit for the different colors. Apples for red and green, maybe 
  a peeled orange for orange, you know. Then we could eat them 
  when we're done.
  Child-Like Wonder: Our hands would get awfully sticky juggling a 
  peeled orange.
  Insecurity Officer: Yeah, but how could we eat an unpeeled 
  orange? I suppose we could peel it with our teeth, and then eat 
  it, but we'd still have to juggle the half-peeled fruit a bit. 
  We'll need to practice to make it look graceful, but I'm sure we 
  can do it.
  Child-Like Wonder: Yeah, I kinda like it. Let's go to the 
  holodeck and practice out of sight for a bit.
  Lite suddenly bursts upon the scene, rounding a corner and 
  screeching to a halt in front of the pair.
  Lite: What are you doing?
  Child-Like Wonder: We're juggling. Have you ever seen anybody 
  juggle before?
  Lite: Nooo. It looks pretty easy though. Let me try!
  Child-Like Wonder: Of course it's easy. But you'd better just 
  start with three balls. Here! (He wings three of the seven 
  balls out of the air, directing them towards Lite, who manages to 
  catch them with some surprise. The Insecurity Officer settles 
  back against the wall, keeping the remaining four balls in the 
  air between him and the Child-Like Wonder) Just try to keep two 
  in the air, passing the one you catch to the other hand and 
  throwing it up again, kind of like I'm doing here.
  Lite: (pout) I wanna do seven.
  Child-Like Wonder: Sure, just try the three for me, and then 
  I'll feed the rest to you as you go along.
  Lite: Okay! (Throws one ball up, but can't decide what to do 
  with the other two, and looks down to figure it out just as the 
  first one comes down.) 
  Lite: Ok, that was practice. (tries again) (tries again) 
  (tries again, throwing harder) (throws the balls down the hall in 
  frustration) THIS IS STUPID! 
  Child-Like Wonder: What's the problem? Juggling's easy! Come 
  on, try it again.
  Lite: NO! THIS IS STUPID! (jumps up and grabs one of the four 
  balls in midair and heaves it down the hall)
  Insecurity Officer: Trio.
  Lite jumps up and grabs another, throwing it down the hall in the 
  other direction.
  Insecurity Officer: Duet.
  His arms waving madly, Lite bounces up and down, hitting another 
  ball out of the air. The Child-Like Wonder and the Insecurity 
  Officer are now tossing one ball between them.
  Child-Like Wonder: Solo. You know, somebody really should calm 
  this kid down. (Lite is jumping up and down, out of control, 
  trying to stop the last ball)
  Kabeta: (over ship's ic.) Attention Security, or anybody else 
  sighting the Hidden Valley Rancher child brought on board! He is 
  to be apprehended at all costs as a possible spy. He may have 
  been sent by the HVR to use his age to divert suspicion. If you 
  see him, capture him at once and bring him to First Officer 
  Scribonia's quarters for questioning.
  Insecurity Officer: (insecurely) Gee, do you think this is him? 
  (Lite's spurs clank loudly as he jumps up and down, and his hat 
  waves wildly on it's string around his neck)
  Child-Like Wonder: I suppose. But in any case, he looks like he 
  ought to be captured regardless. (Reaches out with one arm and 
  catches Lite in midair, spinning him around and slinging him over 
  his shoulder, then catches the last ball and puts it in his 
  pocket.) Come on, let's go see Scribonia.

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